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| Typical Ave Maria sunset... Not too shabby, eh? |
This
summer I spent 5 1/2 weeks in Ave Maria, FL with 400 fellow missionaries at New
Staff Training for our temporary vocation as FOCUS missionaries. For those of
you who have never visited this booming metropolis, Ave Maria, which is about
40 minutes east of Naples in SW Florida, reminds many of its visitors and
residents of the sets of Pleasantville or The Truman Show.
Despite
the idyllic setting, most of the missionaries I know (including Yours Truly),
experienced at least one spiritual crisis during our time there, because we
realized how cluttered and chaotic and imperfect the "streets" of our
interior lives were. About three weeks into training, I spent 5 days panicking
because reflection and prayer had led me to realize my shortcomings, not only
in loving others, but in accepting love from God and His children here on
earth.
As
human beings, we are made in the image and likeness of God: the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Spirit. Catholic teaching describes the Holy Spirit as the
fruitful communion between God the Father and God the Son: the transcendence of
love between the Father and the Son is so great that it is its own person: the
Holy Spirit.
I
began to understand Love as God made it, as the full gift of self and full receipt
of another. For my adult life I had focused on how to best give love, but I had
actively rebuffed others' attempts to give their love to me. My insistence to
give but not receive was reflected in my relationship with God, and my eyes
were finally opened to the things in my life that I had withheld from Him. By
refusing to receive His Love in parts of my life and heart that I thought were
ugly, unfit, and in need of improvement before I could show them to the Lord, I
was actively withholding my Love from Him and from others.
1
Corinthians 13:3 says, "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender
my body to the flames, but do not have love, I gain nothing." There I was,
about to give up control over at least 2 years of my life in service of
God, realizing that if I didn't make a change in my life, it would all be for
naught.
Only in opening my heart to God and others, in loving and allowing others to
love me, will the mission I have been called to by God be fulfilled. There
is no other way. The broken heart that is open to the Love of Christ is the
heart that will be healed; it will radiate with particular light that invites
others to discover the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6).
Since
that week of crisis in training, the Lord has opened my eyes to His greatest
gift, which is an essential part of our human experience; Love changes lives.
Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta humbly reminds us, "Not all of us can do
great things; only small things with Great Love."
"And these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love," (1 Corinthians 13:13).
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| Harvard '14-'15: Loving through Laughter since June 2014 |
